








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4242 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3916 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3928 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,061 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buy Nasdaq | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | smItty | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | MrMoses | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buy Nasdaq | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | smItty | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | MrMoses | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMoses | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Buy Nasdaq | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | smItty | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 195 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | MrMoses | 104 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Buy Nasdaq | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | smItty | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMoses | +1.70 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | smItty | -0.01 | 52 | 47 |
| #3 | ❦︎Solution❦ | -0.04 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | Buy Nasdaq | -0.77 | 40 | 59 |
| #5 | Prometheus | -0.85 | 52 | 58 |





