








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1033 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1130 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1188 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,804 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 782 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓜𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓲 | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Somaan | 56% | 90 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | Skool1 | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | mdAb. | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Somaan | 56% | 90 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | Skool1 | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | mdAb. | 43% | 51 |
| #6 | MainLemuBhai | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | 34 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | mdAb. | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Skool1 | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | MainLemuBhai | 4 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | 140 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | MainLemuBhai | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝓜𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓲 | 89 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | mdAb. | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | +2.85 | 56 | 58 |
| #2 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | +1.65 | 59 | 44 |
| #3 | 𝓜𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓲 | +0.85 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | MainLemuBhai | -0.79 | 55 | 42 |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | -0.86 | 23 | 36 |





