








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 23% |
| Smokes | 475 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 219 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 285 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,966 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V Σ П I X | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | theZ. anonymoose | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Somaan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | mdAb. | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Somaan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | mdAb. | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | kj's | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | MainLemuBhai | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theZ. anonymoose | 7 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Somaan | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | mdAb. | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | MainLemuBhai | 27 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | theZ. anonymoose | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | mdAb. | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kj's | +3.83 | 41 | 60 |
| #2 | Somaan | +1.29 | 46 | 61 |
| #3 | 𝓜𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓲 | +0.45 | 57 | 57 |
| #4 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | +0.23 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | -1.21 | 14 | 42 |





