








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1270 | 50% |
| Smokes | 506 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 169 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,507 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V Σ П I X | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Somaan | 49% | 164 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | MainLemuBhai | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Somaan | 49% | 164 |
| #3 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | MainLemuBhai | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | mdAb. | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | 45 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | theZ. anonymoose | 8 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | mdAb. | 7 | 0.0221 |
| #4 | V Σ П I X | 7 | 0.0227 |
| #5 | MainLemuBhai | 6 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | 224 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | MainLemuBhai | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | V Σ П I X | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somaan | +4.27 | 62 | 61 |
| #2 | 𝙨0𝙧𝙧𝙮 | +0.90 | 60 | 40 |
| #3 | mdAb. | -0.21 | 36 | 44 |
| #4 | MainLemuBhai | -0.52 | 64 | 40 |
| #5 | theZ. anonymoose | -0.87 | 33 | 32 |





