








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2282 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2222 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1799 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,936 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makku | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ElkkuH | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | esa | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | KDQI | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Petzku | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | esa | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | KDQI | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Petzku | 48% | 120 |
| #6 | Jere | 46% | 78 |
| #7 | osba:D | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jere | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | esa | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Petzku | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ElkkuH | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Makku | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petzku | 483 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jere | 239 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | KDQI | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | osba:D | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ElkkuH | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | esa | +2.47 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | putte | +1.34 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Jere | +1.33 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Petzku | +0.40 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | osba:D | +0.39 | 84 | 57 |





