








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1414 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,455 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑒 Cadmium | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | Yilisavwer | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | Smokyquartz | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Phant0m | 45% | 60 |
| #5 | Biobauer Alpeker | 45% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Phant0m | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | nisced | 41% | 102 |
| #8 | crush brothq | 40% | 57 |
| #9 | NMir | 33% | 49 |
| #10 | La doble P | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biobauer Alpeker | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | NMir | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | nisced | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑒 Cadmium | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Phant0m | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nisced | 356 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Biobauer Alpeker | 254 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Phant0m | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | crush brothq | 150 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | NMir | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phant0m | +3.32 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | Phant0m | +2.24 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | crush brothq | +1.62 | 80 | 55 |
| #4 | Smokyquartz | +1.05 | 57 | 40 |
| #5 | Biobauer Alpeker | +0.05 | 54 | 55 |





