








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2112 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1718 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2790 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1746 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,509 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phant0m | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | mxdeu | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | NMir | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | nisced | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Biobauer Alpeker | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mxdeu | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | NMir | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | nisced | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Biobauer Alpeker | 43% | 35 |
| #6 | ᛪᚨᛗᛪᛁᛗ | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxdeu | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | NMir | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ᛪᚨᛗᛪᛁᛗ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nisced | 127 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | NMir | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Biobauer Alpeker | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phant0m | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | mxdeu | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phant0m | +4.08 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | NMir | +0.37 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | Yilisavwer | -0.29 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | Biobauer Alpeker | -1.06 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | nisced | -1.52 | 43 | 74 |





