








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3634 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5334 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3016 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3414 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,063 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paya | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Phant0m | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑒 Cadmium | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Phant0m | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Smokyquartz | 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | crush brothq | 48% | 99 |
| #7 | Biobauer Alpeker | 48% | 190 |
| #8 | Yilisavwer | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | mxdeu | 41% | 102 |
| #10 | NMir | 38% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biobauer Alpeker | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | NMir | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | crush brothq | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Phant0m | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | mxdeu | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biobauer Alpeker | 456 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | crush brothq | 308 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Phant0m | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | NMir | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | mxdeu | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phant0m | +3.84 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Phant0m | +2.60 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | crush brothq | +1.49 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Biobauer Alpeker | +0.55 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑒 Cadmium | +0.14 | 67 | 48 |





