








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1398 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,969 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadstick | 51% | 63 |
| #2 | meow zedong | 50% | 114 |
| #3 | Nuke | 49% | 202 |
| #4 | Metalface | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadstick | 51% | 63 |
| #2 | meow zedong | 50% | 114 |
| #3 | Nuke | 49% | 202 |
| #4 | Metalface | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow zedong | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Nuke | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Breadstick | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Metalface | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuke | 209 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | meow zedong | 187 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Metalface | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Breadstick | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow zedong | +1.12 | 56 | 51 |
| #2 | Soprano | +0.01 | 67 | 36 |
| #3 | Nuke | -0.02 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | Metalface | -0.45 | 67 | 42 |
| #5 | Breadstick | -0.57 | 71 | 53 |





