








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1262 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2128 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2150 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2731 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,007 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soprano | 49% | 202 |
| #2 | Breadstick | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | meow zedong | 47% | 207 |
| #4 | Metalface | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soprano | 49% | 202 |
| #2 | Breadstick | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | meow zedong | 47% | 207 |
| #4 | Metalface | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow zedong | 26 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Soprano | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Metalface | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Breadstick | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow zedong | 329 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Soprano | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Breadstick | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Metalface | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow zedong | +1.43 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | Soprano | +0.03 | 67 | 36 |
| #3 | Nuke | -0.08 | 60 | 49 |
| #4 | Metalface | -0.16 | 69 | 37 |
| #5 | Breadstick | -0.74 | 72 | 53 |





