








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 655 | 34% |
| Smokes | 523 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,061 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testoheksa | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | s0lttu | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | TaKKeN | 72% | 25 |
| #4 | Kahavipapu | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | LABIS | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kahavipapu | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | LABIS | 55% | 29 |
| #6 | Señor Snelkku | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | Saatananpalvoja | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Härkä | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaKKeN | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | s0lttu | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Señor Snelkku | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | LABIS | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Härkä | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0lttu | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Señor Snelkku | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | LABIS | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | TaKKeN | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kahavipapu | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testoheksa | +3.76 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | s0lttu | +3.64 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | TaKKeN | +2.86 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | Señor Snelkku | +1.25 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | pikku pirihuora | +0.88 | 78 | 60 |





