








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5343 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3502 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3687 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2262 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,286 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaKKeN | 70% | 82 |
| #2 | Testoheksa | 62% | 158 |
| #3 | LABIS | 57% | 131 |
| #4 | Señor Snelkku | 57% | 81 |
| #5 | Saatananpalvoja | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LABIS | 57% | 131 |
| #4 | Señor Snelkku | 57% | 81 |
| #5 | Saatananpalvoja | 52% | 90 |
| #6 | Härkä | 47% | 102 |
| #7 | Himpula | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Snelkku | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Härkä | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Saatananpalvoja | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | LABIS | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | TaKKeN | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testoheksa | 310 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Señor Snelkku | 268 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | LABIS | 263 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Härkä | 163 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | TaKKeN | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0lttu | +3.68 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Señor Snelkku | +1.97 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | TaKKeN | +1.67 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | Testoheksa | +1.11 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | Himpula | -0.38 | 66 | 72 |





