








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1330 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 721 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,961 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LABIS | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | TaKKeN | 62% | 82 |
| #3 | Testoheksa | 60% | 55 |
| #4 | s0lttu | 57% | 81 |
| #5 | Saatananpalvoja | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0lttu | 346 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | TaKKeN | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Testoheksa | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | LABIS | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | pikku pirihuora | 63 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0lttu | +2.93 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | Himpula | +2.21 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | TaKKeN | +1.72 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Señor Snelkku | +1.34 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | Testoheksa | +1.00 | 76 | 59 |





