








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6569 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5071 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6641 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3350 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,571 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar :3 | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | sprouts | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | kittygirl2004 | 51% | 277 |
| #4 | Knot Me~ <3 | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | puppyboy~ | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar :3 | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | sprouts | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | kittygirl2004 | 51% | 277 |
| #4 | Knot Me~ <3 | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | puppyboy~ | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kittygirl2004 | 23 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | puppyboy~ | 19 | 0.0311 |
| #3 | sprouts | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Knot Me~ <3 | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kittygirl2004 | 303 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | scar :3 | 191 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | sprouts | 111 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Knot Me~ <3 | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | puppyboy~ | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noodlepuppy 🍜 | +2.80 | 34 | 62 |
| #2 | kittygirl2004 | +0.10 | 52 | 49 |
| #3 | Knot Me~ <3 | -0.12 | 48 | 39 |
| #4 | scar :3 | -1.80 | 33 | 55 |
| #5 | sprouts | -2.33 | 22 | 39 |





