








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 632 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8311 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2410 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 5280 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3056 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,247 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs | 54% | 81 |
| #2 | XeFeX | 49% | 226 |
| #3 | bingbong. | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | 48% | 205 |
| #5 | The Deep | 46% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bingbong. | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | 48% | 205 |
| #5 | The Deep | 46% | 232 |
| #6 | rain | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | Chokkel the Drunk | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Deep | 50 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | XeFeX | 33 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Kraaislaai | 27 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | bubs | 21 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | rain | 19 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XeFeX | 710 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | The Deep | 210 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | bingbong. | 140 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chokkel the Drunk | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kraaislaai | 71 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rain | +4.52 | 83 | 40 |
| #2 | bubs | +4.15 | 78 | 47 |
| #3 | XeFeX | +2.73 | 59 | 52 |
| #4 | Vertex | +0.19 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Chokkel the Drunk | -0.48 | 56 | 47 |





