








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 28% |
| Smokes | 745 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,423 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Deep | 48% | 124 |
| #2 | Kraaislaai | 48% | 80 |
| #3 | Vertex | 41% | 63 |
| #4 | XeFeX | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Deep | 48% | 124 |
| #2 | Kraaislaai | 48% | 80 |
| #3 | Vertex | 41% | 63 |
| #4 | XeFeX | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Deep | 34 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Kraaislaai | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | XeFeX | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertex | 159 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | XeFeX | 127 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | The Deep | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XeFeX | +2.80 | 64 | 50 |
| #2 | Chokkel the Drunk | +1.58 | 57 | 49 |
| #3 | Vertex | +1.31 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | -2.00 | 48 | 28 |
| #5 | The Deep | -2.14 | 34 | 32 |





