








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 509 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4870 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2776 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1638 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,225,859 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Vertex | 49% | 226 |
| #3 | The Deep | 47% | 226 |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | 45% | 183 |
| #5 | Chokkel the Drunk | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Vertex | 49% | 226 |
| #3 | The Deep | 47% | 226 |
| #4 | Kraaislaai | 45% | 183 |
| #5 | Chokkel the Drunk | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Deep | 45 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Kraaislaai | 28 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Vertex | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | bubs | 13 | 0.0217 |
| #5 | Chokkel the Drunk | 7 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertex | 677 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | The Deep | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kraaislaai | 65 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | bubs | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chokkel the Drunk | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs | +4.06 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | XeFeX | +2.00 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Vertex | +0.35 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Chokkel the Drunk | -2.43 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | The Deep | -3.38 | 32 | 32 |





