








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7129 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6331 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5604 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5745 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,033,205 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROFESSOR_TONY | 55 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | El Gorch | 38 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Flavio Mendoza | 33 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Huevofest32 | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Pambox | 17 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROFESSOR_TONY | 1533 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | Huevofest32 | 806 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | El Gorch | 592 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | ☁ | 451 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | Flavio Mendoza | 408 | 0.06 | 9 min |





