








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2096 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1787 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1826 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,726 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SUP3R | 59% | 59 |
| #9 | Sponsie | 57% | 37 |
| #10 | beast | 55% | 38 |
| #11 | ☭oceanpuller☭ | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | Trash | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andre | 761 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jaysling | 217 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #3 | SUP3R | 170 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lepep | 159 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | stomp1e™ | 123 | 0.22 | 3 min |





