








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11050 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7148 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5548 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5726 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,275 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pika | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | Winter | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | Pingwido bandido | 59% | 109 |
| #4 | repan | 57% | 184 |
| #5 | kamikadze | 56% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kamikadze | 25 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | repan | 22 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Walter | 13 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Alek | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Winter | 4 | 0.0034 |





