








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1230 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,475 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hatman | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | VilleS | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | meLty | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | V e r † Z u | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Kenzo | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -acrsy | 10 | 0.0342 |
| #2 | VilleS | 4 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | allu:p | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | hatman | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | V e r † Z u | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meLty | 132 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | hatman | 88 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | CURSEDXD | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | allu:p | 70 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eestu | 67 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L A P A ?!? | +3.05 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | meLty | +1.75 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | VilleS | +1.03 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Kenzo | +0.96 | 88 | 47 |
| #5 | allu:p | +0.69 | 81 | 70 |





