








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1105 | 38% |
| Smokes | 638 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 599 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,195 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | 76561198933680169 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Ukiyo | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | max | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Ice | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | max | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Ice | 61% | 44 |
| #6 | BespokeFire | 59% | 61 |
| #7 | Nerdy | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Piggy | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ice | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | BespokeFire | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Ukiyo | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Mango | 2 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | 76561198933680169 | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BespokeFire | 171 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ice | 151 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nerdy | 47 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ukiyo | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Piggy | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | +4.75 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | 76561198933680169 | +3.99 | 51 | 39 |
| #3 | BespokeFire | +2.03 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Mango | +1.17 | 52 | 15 |
| #5 | Ares | +0.87 | 79 | 62 |





