








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 18% |
| Smokes | 281 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 186 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 166 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,795 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | small loan of 53 million dollars | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Ukiyo | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Ice | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | BespokeFire | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | DRYWALL EATER | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | 56 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #2 | IM COMPELTELTELY MASSIVE | 31 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | DRYWALL EATER | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | BespokeFire | 15 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lucidity | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | +3.24 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Piggy | +2.70 | 76 | 42 |
| #3 | BespokeFire | +2.44 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | DRYWALL EATER | +2.06 | 49 | 18 |
| #5 | TyU | +1.23 | 56 | 43 |





