








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3175 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2480 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,107 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeBipp | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | world's end lullaby | 58% | 72 |
| #3 | Juan Flashbang | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Hiest | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | Bke Drippy | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Emoman112 | 48% | 69 |
| #7 | puppeht | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | omega. | 24% | 17 |
| #9 | [B]hu Tang | 20% | 15 |
| #10 | CrystalNugget | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | world's end lullaby | 16 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Hiest | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Emoman112 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | [B]hu Tang | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | omega. | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoman112 | 345 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | world's end lullaby | 280 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hiest | 245 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | JeBipp | 145 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | omega. | 87 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoman112 | +1.64 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | world's end lullaby | +1.39 | 59 | 50 |
| #3 | puppeht | +1.12 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | Juan Flashbang | +0.24 | 84 | 49 |
| #5 | JeBipp | +0.10 | 71 | 53 |





