








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4394 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1290 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2270 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,961 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sham | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | puppeht | 61% | 71 |
| #3 | blimp grimpin | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Juan Flashbang | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | Hiest | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | [B]hu Tang | 53% | 95 |
| #9 | Maurice | 52% | 29 |
| #10 | omega. | 50% | 117 |
| #11 | eric | 48% | 69 |
| #12 | N01dentity | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sham | 8 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | eric | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | [B]hu Tang | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hiest | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | omega. | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omega. | 514 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | CrystalNugget | 452 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | [B]hu Tang | 402 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | puppeht | 275 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | eric | 232 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sham | +5.60 | 91 | 53 |
| #2 | Emoman112 | +1.73 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | CrystalNugget | +1.24 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | blimp grimpin | +0.29 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | Juan Flashbang | +0.24 | 82 | 51 |





