








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2495 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,007,499 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monty Mole | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Juan Flashbang | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Emoman112 | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | eric | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Hiest | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | eric | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Hiest | 49% | 61 |
| #6 | Dr. Cock | 48% | 73 |
| #7 | Utopia | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | the real justin | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiest | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Dr. Cock | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | eric | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | the real justin | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Emoman112 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Cock | 330 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hiest | 221 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Emoman112 | 187 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | eric | 143 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juan Flashbang | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoman112 | +2.45 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | Bke Drippy | +1.54 | 56 | 52 |
| #3 | Juan Flashbang | +0.47 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | Hiest | +0.20 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | Utopia | -0.51 | 39 | 43 |





