








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3634 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1389 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2504 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,634 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 屌你個奶龍 | 1122 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | R3versE | 858 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | hinoo | 699 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | Mm§m∆Mkμ¶ | 391 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | NeverGiveUp | 195 | 0.05 | 5 min |





