










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5291 | 57% |
| Smokes | 1179 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1459 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1422 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,319 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 屌你個奶龍 | 1382 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | Mm§m∆Mkμ¶ | 644 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | hinoo | 595 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Axolotl | 451 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | NeverGiveUp | 184 | 0.08 | 5 min |





