








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2987 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2957 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3205 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,964 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whip | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | DISI༒ | NoBa | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | derki | 61% | 94 |
| #5 | D'x Diponzi el coach | 60% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | AR'kinG♛ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | derki | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | DISI༒ | NoBa | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | CRIMZONT | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRIMZONT | 421 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | D'x Diponzi el coach | 291 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | AR'kinG♛ | 193 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | derki | 171 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | 126 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derki | +1.79 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | +1.72 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | DISI༒ | NoBa | +1.67 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | CRIMZONT | +1.26 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | Manfrek | +1.23 | 75 | 49 |





