








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4498 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7347 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4763 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2655 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,455,786 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SafetyKel | 44% | 77 |
| #7 | Akeno Himejima | 44% | 57 |
| #8 | YsO_ButtHurt | 39% | 66 |
| #9 | Michael Sherman | 38% | 29 |
| #10 | Shrizzler | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Romby | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | The MagiciaN | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | SafetyKel | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | YsO_ButtHurt | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil bro | 283 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | SafetyKel | 195 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Akeno Himejima | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Romby | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shrizzler | 147 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SafetyKel | +1.48 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | Romby | +1.34 | 62 | 46 |
| #3 | Michael Sherman | +0.76 | 46 | 64 |
| #4 | lil bro | +0.76 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Akeno Himejima | +0.60 | 66 | 63 |





