








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1061 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2541 | 43% |
| Smokes | 883 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1736 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 726 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,331 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalopsia | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Akeno Himejima | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | SafetyKel | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | MaseyoffdaPeaky | 44% | 72 |
| #5 | YsO_ButtHurt | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalopsia | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Akeno Himejima | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | SafetyKel | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | MaseyoffdaPeaky | 44% | 72 |
| #5 | YsO_ButtHurt | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akeno Himejima | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | SafetyKel | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | YsO_ButtHurt | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | kalopsia | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SafetyKel | 206 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | MaseyoffdaPeaky | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Akeno Himejima | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | YsO_ButtHurt | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | kalopsia | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalopsia | +2.39 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | SafetyKel | +1.48 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Akeno Himejima | +0.30 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | lil bro | +0.02 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | MaseyoffdaPeaky | -1.52 | 42 | 66 |





