








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6035 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3593 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3873 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3417 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,186 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | Fredoom | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | GKaay | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | M3NT4L | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | NOT VERY GOOD | 58% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | NOT VERY GOOD | 58% | 60 |
| #6 | MDJ | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | Slav_I | 53% | 34 |
| #8 | Irneso | 51% | 39 |
| #9 | ForeskinWarts | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForeskinWarts | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | jacob? | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | NOT VERY GOOD | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | M3NT4L | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Slav_I | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForeskinWarts | 578 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | NOT VERY GOOD | 251 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | jacob? | 211 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | MDJ | 94 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fredoom | 93 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +6.76 | 95 | 69 |
| #2 | ryzn | +2.61 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | NOT VERY GOOD | +1.38 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | GKaay | +0.35 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Fredoom | -0.15 | 81 | 58 |





