








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5130 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4832 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4651 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4630 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,298 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | яємм | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | SWEARINGJONNY | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ryzn | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | h0bo | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | яємм | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | SWEARINGJONNY | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ryzn | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | h0bo | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryzn | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | SWEARINGJONNY | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | h0bo | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryzn | 278 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | яємм | 136 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | h0bo | 113 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | SWEARINGJONNY | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWEARINGJONNY | +2.72 | 91 | 75 |
| #2 | яємм | +1.73 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | ryzn | +1.72 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | NOT VERY GOOD | +1.31 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | h0bo | -0.61 | 70 | 65 |





