








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 200 | 20% |
| Smokes | 127 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 313 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,931 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Leo | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | [Unex] fluffyNora | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | [Unex] spreGGo | 71% | 21 |
| #5 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Jsn | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | [Unex] fluffyNora | 2 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | [Unex] spreGGo | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Temperatur | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Jsn | 1 | 0.0049 |





