








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 19% |
| Smokes | 334 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 103 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,603 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnside 2 | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | PelicanFacts | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | MiseraBIll | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | A | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Burnside | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiseraBIll | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | ninjamonkeys21 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiseraBIll | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | I dont have a crosshair | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ninjamonkeys21 | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | A | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burnside | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Joe | +7.14 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | PelicanFacts | +5.08 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | I dont have a crosshair | +2.94 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Burnside 2 | +2.72 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | A | +1.31 | 75 | 72 |





