








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2558 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3749 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2489 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,944 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnside | 50% | 296 |
| #2 | I dont have a crosshair | 50% | 359 |
| #3 | ninjamonkeys21 | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnside | 50% | 296 |
| #2 | I dont have a crosshair | 50% | 359 |
| #3 | ninjamonkeys21 | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I dont have a crosshair | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Burnside | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ninjamonkeys21 | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I dont have a crosshair | 1130 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | Burnside | 405 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | ninjamonkeys21 | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PelicanFacts | +1.33 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | I dont have a crosshair | +1.20 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Burnside | -2.07 | 45 | 46 |
| #4 | ninjamonkeys21 | -3.41 | 28 | 41 |





