








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 31 | 1% |
| Smokes | 131 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 1812 | 75% |
| Molotovs | 458 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,011 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leisure | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | eviljonbob | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Guacamole | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Porky | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | moonexe | 44% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonexe | 211 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | leisure | 170 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | eviljonbob | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Guacamole | 114 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Porky | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eviljonbob | +4.97 | 70 | 74 |
| #2 | Guacamole | +4.30 | 58 | 63 |
| #3 | Porky | +3.54 | 64 | 35 |
| #4 | leisure | +3.43 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | moonexe | +1.12 | 56 | 28 |





