








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1512 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8122 | 17% |
| Smokes | 19272 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 8617 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 10679 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,495,480 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re 3:8-11 | 51% | 486 |
| #2 | Lstacks | 51% | 128 |
| #3 | -1 sYNDROme | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | Sloth | 49% | 734 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re 3:8-11 | 51% | 486 |
| #2 | Lstacks | 51% | 128 |
| #3 | -1 sYNDROme | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | Sloth | 49% | 734 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloth | 36 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Re 3:8-11 | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Lstacks | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | -1 sYNDROme | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re 3:8-11 | 1383 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #2 | Sloth | 909 | 0.06 | 26 min |
| #3 | Lstacks | 655 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #4 | -1 sYNDROme | 82 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloth | +1.15 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Lstacks | +0.13 | 25 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr Delusional | -0.12 | 42 | 48 |
| #4 | Re 3:8-11 | -0.37 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | -1 sYNDROme | -0.44 | 63 | 47 |





