








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 784 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3006 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4509 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4584 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6200 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,089,431 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re 3:8-11 | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | Mr Delusional | 51% | 97 |
| #3 | deadman | 50% | 144 |
| #4 | SwagSquatch | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Maniac.0330 | 48% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SwagSquatch | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Maniac.0330 | 48% | 164 |
| #6 | Swuunky | 47% | 74 |
| #7 | Sloth | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | Throat Clogger | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadman | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Maniac.0330 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SwagSquatch | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Mr Delusional | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Swuunky | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadman | 310 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Re 3:8-11 | 179 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr Delusional | 175 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Maniac.0330 | 105 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sloth | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagSquatch | +2.42 | 35 | 43 |
| #2 | Throat Clogger | +2.20 | 47 | 43 |
| #3 | Sloth | +0.82 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Re 3:8-11 | -0.20 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | -1 sYNDROme | -0.23 | 59 | 53 |





