








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 974 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 55,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9519 | 17% |
| Smokes | 10202 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 18270 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 17021 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,162,633 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1936 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juhoristoaukusti | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | viiksi (blameF fanboy) | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | HardyGoesHard | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | [KG]Balder | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | И Θ Θ Β Η Џ И Ͳ Ӗ Я | 8 | 0.0020 |





