








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1745 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 836 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 157 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13265 | 28% |
| Smokes | 11383 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 13009 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10346 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,238,636 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sossusoturi | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | homonaamio420 | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ELM | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Mr.Penetrator | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | HardyGoesHard | 7 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KG]Balder | 527 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | homonaamio420 | 329 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sossusoturi | 267 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mr.Penetrator | 256 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | ELM | 248 | 0.07 | 6 min |





