








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2606 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2921 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3139 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,907 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephern harvey | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | criss | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | joller | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | qAp | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | ёбаный тайминг | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephern harvey | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | criss | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | joller | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | qAp | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | ёбаный тайминг | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qAp | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ёбаный тайминг | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | joller | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qAp | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ёбаный тайминг | 151 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | criss | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | stephern harvey | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | joller | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephern harvey | +1.51 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | criss | +0.82 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | ёбаный тайминг | +0.64 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | qAp | +0.25 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | Jaan Sügelis | -0.29 | 65 | 59 |





