








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1876 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1109 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,705 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criss | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | qAp | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Jaan Sügelis | 40% | 55 |
| #4 | joller | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criss | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | qAp | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Jaan Sügelis | 40% | 55 |
| #4 | joller | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaan Sügelis | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | qAp | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | joller | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | criss | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaan Sügelis | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | qAp | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | criss | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | joller | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criss | +1.73 | 75 | 43 |
| #2 | qAp | +1.69 | 70 | 60 |
| #3 | ёбаный тайминг | +1.46 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Jaan Sügelis | +0.26 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | joller | -2.52 | 42 | 28 |





