










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 557 | 30% |
| Smokes | 270 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 665 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,187 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jb1zzle | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Willy B | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Dome | 40% | 40 |
| #4 | Rosa Parks | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Jersey Wick | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willy B | 10 | 0.0313 |
| #2 | Dome | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Jersey Wick | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | jb1zzle | 5 | 0.0446 |
| #5 | Rosa Parks | 3 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jb1zzle | +6.06 | 75 | 40 |
| #2 | Willy B | +3.65 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Jersey Wick | +3.00 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Dome | -0.33 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | Study | -2.41 | 63 | 55 |





