








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2807 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2591 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,162 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech Suppport | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Scottie Barnes | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | Green | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | WUMBO | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | Tamber | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biel | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | henry | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Scottie Barnes | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | WUMBO | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biel | 541 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | henry | 214 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | vaulk | 209 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | WUMBO | 195 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #5 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WUMBO | +8.18 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | vaulk | +2.56 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Green | +1.77 | 45 | 54 |
| #4 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | +0.96 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | biel | +0.85 | 70 | 71 |





