








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1990 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2469 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2972 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,199 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaulk | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | bven | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Alex | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | biel | 49% | 184 |
| #5 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | 48% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biel | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Alex | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | vaulk | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | bven | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaulk | +1.32 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | Adrenoleukodystrophy | +1.04 | 67 | 44 |
| #3 | biel | +0.73 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | henry | +0.51 | 83 | 41 |
| #5 | bven | -0.18 | 78 | 57 |





