








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 427 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4770 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5780 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4222 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3792 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,596 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky4Noobs | 49% | 292 |
| #2 | The Purple Pony | 49% | 281 |
| #3 | Timmeh | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Ryzz | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky4Noobs | 49% | 292 |
| #2 | The Purple Pony | 49% | 281 |
| #3 | Timmeh | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Ryzz | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Purple Pony | 59 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Lucky4Noobs | 25 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Timmeh | 7 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Ryzz | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Purple Pony | 956 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | Lucky4Noobs | 341 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Timmeh | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ryzz | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joseph Starving | +1.37 | 55 | 66 |
| #2 | Lucky4Noobs | +0.77 | 60 | 61 |
| #3 | The Purple Pony | -0.43 | 32 | 67 |
| #4 | Timmeh | -2.55 | 15 | 37 |
| #5 | Ryzz | -2.77 | 42 | 36 |





