








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 932 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11129 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10658 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9117 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9970 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,234,389 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tacoflækkeren | 44% | 219 |
| #7 | NooRespect | 43% | 129 |
| #8 | Gong Gong | 41% | 140 |
| #9 | Fa1xy ツ | 40% | 81 |
| #10 | ✿CamCam✿ PMS M0nSter | 37% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NooRespect | 357 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Gong Gong | 291 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tacoflækkeren | 285 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fa1xy ツ | 247 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | OggiMaster007 | 235 | 0.12 | 8 min |





