








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9778 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12051 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10254 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9182 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,429,209 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | UllÆ | 46% | 259 |
| #12 | Potato Ninjas | Psycho | 46% | 87 |
| #13 | SpiriX | 42% | 100 |
| #14 | Problem? | 41% | 140 |
| #15 | Potato Ninjas | Roy ✰ | 40% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NooRespect | 938 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | Potato Ninjas | Joey | 551 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Junior | 550 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | Problem? | 326 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | UllÆ | 264 | 0.05 | 7 min |





