








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 17% |
| Smokes | 563 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,808 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | stoooj | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Flowzyyx~ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | stoooj | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Flowzyyx~ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowzyyx~ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowzyyx~ | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | stoooj | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HTTP404 | +1.64 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | On Scooby Doo replace oo with ee | +0.53 | 44 | 43 |
| #3 | Flowzyyx~ | -1.47 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | stoooj | -2.86 | 54 | 64 |





